


Crazier Than You

by NKXanP



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types, The Addams Family - Lippa/Brickman & Elice
Genre: It Just Does, M/M, don't ask me why this fits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:54:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25354309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NKXanP/pseuds/NKXanP
Summary: Act 2, Scene 6 of the Addams Family musical (book by Brickman and Elice, music and lyrics by Lippa) features the musical number "Crazier Than You". Re-reading through the scene again (I was allowed to keep my script as a souvenir from our HS drama performance), I can't help but see this scene play out with Zero as Wednesday and Gadget as Lucas.Please enjoy this rendition of the first half of Crazier Than You, but with Zero and Gadget in the roles of Wednesday and Lucas, respectively.
Relationships: Avatar | Custom Hero (Sonic Forces)/Infinite (Sonic the Hedgehog)
Kudos: 5





	Crazier Than You

GADGET

Look, I can't stand the idea of not being with you.

ZERO

Five minutes ago you could.

GADGET

No, but see- the lover always comes back. Ulysses. Tristan. Romeo.

ZERO

Listen, I'm home-schooled. What's your point?

GADGET

I'd rather die than live without you.

ESPIO appears, holding a bright red apple. ZERO takes it from him, and he walks away.

ZERO

OK. Prove it.

GADGET

What?

ZERO

Prove it.

(hands him the apple and picks up a bow, as music starts)

Here.

GADGET

Where'd you-

ZERO

Put this apple on your head and go stand against the tree.

GADGET

Wait, you're gonna-?

ZERO

Uh-huh.

GADGET

You're crazy.

ZERO

And you're not crazy enough. That's the problem.

Once, I was hopeful, thought we were one.

Life, less than perfect, finally begun.

But, now I wonder, are we undone?

I wanna treasure you in death as well as life,

I wanna cut you with my love and with my knife,

But can I live as your tormentor and your man

When I am crazier than you, I'm crazier than you, and nothing up til now has proved me wrong...

I'm crazier than you; that's just the overview

So get on board or simply move along

GADGET

I'm not impulsive...

ZERO

And yet, I truly love you.

GADGET

I'm not deranged.

ZERO

I'd never ask that of you.

GADGET

But in this moment, I feel I've changed.

I wanna climb Mt. Everest, go to Mozambique,

I wanna be impulsive, want to be unique

Can you believe I mean it when you hear me shriek?

(hands ZERO the apple)

I'm crazier than you

I'm crazier than you

And now I'll prove to you exactly how

I'm crazier than you

(blindfolds himself with a scarf)

I'll do what you can do

From here on in I give my solemn vow

ZERO hands him the apple, which GADGET puts on his head.

ZERO

Pluck the arrow from its quiver, hold it in your hand, be brave.

GADGET

Pierce the apple, not the liver, or we're dancing on my grave.

ZERO

Place it in the bow and steady-

GADGET

Can't you shoot that thing already?!

ZERO

I'm gonna demonstrate that fear is my ideal...

GADGET

(aside)

Boy, believe me, fear is your appeal.

ZERO

'Cause in the moment that you're frightened, your life is real...

GADGET

Then my life must be real real!

ZERO

And in a flash, when I release and seal the deal...

GADGET

And in a flash, when you release and seal the deal...

  


GADGET

(rips the blindfold off)

No, no, no, wait! OK, OK! You want crazy? Here's crazy.

GADGET ties the blindfold over ZERO's eyes instead.

ZERO

OK, now it's getting interesting. Aren't you afraid?

GADGET

(a tad manic)

No! You know why? Because I will guide the arrow! I'll guide it with my love!

ZERO

How does that work exactly?

GADGET

We're connected, see? We're destined to be together! So nothing bad can happen!

ZERO

Yeah, but what if I miss?

GADGET

Then you'll be the last thing I ever see.

ZERO

That is _so_ hot.

GADGET runs to the tree and puts the apple on his head. ZERO aims blindly. SILVER and ESPIO sneak onto the scene.

GADGET

Ready!

ZERO fires the crossbow. SILVER uses his psychic powers to deflect the arrow straight through the apple. GADGET screams.

ZERO

Oh my god!

He tears the blindfold off to see GADGET, unharmed.

GADGET

Gotcha. Now will you marry me?

ZERO

Oh, yes, Magic. A thousand times yes.

GADGET

_Gadget. Gadget._

ZERO

Gotcha!

He runs, as GADGET happily chases him off.


End file.
